Hey guys, I might disappear for a while and I might not. It depends on how stressed I am. So this past Saturday, October 25, 2014 - My step-mom was hit and killed by a drunk driver. I am flying home for an unknown amount of days and I will not be posting or I will. It depends I guess. Thanks for being understanding.
Ray
UPDATE (27/10):
I've landed safely and have been home for roughly 4 hours. Damn this isn't easy. I owe so much thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Schultz, two people who have done so much for me through high school, for flying home with me. They've been a tremendous help. I'm absolutely terrified for the days to come but I guess I'll figure it out along the way. Also I'll probably end up being for roughly a week and a half. So woo.
UPDATE (29/10):
Most likely I won't be leaving until after sometime next week. It's really frustrating and slightly upsetting. I don't mean any disrespect towards my step-mom and if she were here I'm sure she'd understand. My dad wants me to stay for the burial which is on Monday next week (3rd of November) which will take about 15 minutes, then he wants me to stay until Tuesday and drive back home (I call school home - Don't ask, it just feels like home ok?) with a lady I barely know. And I wouldn't mind driving except for the fact that it takes and entire day to drive back. Then Wednesday I wouldn't even go to class because I have to reschedule a bunch of meetings with profs and my councilor and advisor. My dad won't let me fly either... And I am more than willing to pay for my own ticket.
I'm just extremely stressed and some of my family is making this way harder than it needs to be... I can't even make a simple decision right now I'm so stressed and depressed. (Which isn't helpful because I already have severe anxiety and mild depression). Anyway - I'll keep updating. Funeral is Saturday and I'm already panicking. *eternal sighing*
UPDATE (31/10):
Well now I'm flying alone. I fly back to school on Monday. My Aunt ended up using her frequent flyer miles to grab me a ticket at 50 or 80 bucks. She flies a lot for work. The funeral is tomorrow and I'm just beat. My dad thinks I'm bottling it up and everyone's worried I'm going to do something. I'm fine. Well as fine as one can be after a death of a close one. I just deal differently then they do. Everyone in my surrounding themselves with a TON of people. I mean a lot of people. It's very kind how many have reached out. But I don't cope that way. To many people stress me out. I have a trusted set of friends who know me better than my family and that is how I handle things. With close friends. I don't do large groups, it's draining and depressing. I'm as okay as I can possibly be right now so please stop asking me to talk to you, because I won't unless I trust you.
Thank you to everyone who's been supporting me thus far. It's not going to get any easier but thank you for just being there.
UPDATE (4/11):
Safely back on campus as of last night. Easy flight - I almost missed it... Funeral was Saturday and the burial was Monday. Thank you to everyone who has helped me so far through this terrible time.