I Love You

Slam Poetry:

As a child all we want to hear are the words "I love you",
And it isn't an "I love you" like I love cookies kind of love you,
It's and "I love you" with the meaning I would go to the moon and back just for you,
But somewhere along the way,
Somewhere in the generations of people in this world the "I love you"'s became worthless,
The became the rocks we threw in rivers that sank to the bottom,
We took a phrase that meant so much and turned it into nothing...

We all know,
Kids grow up,
The "I love you"'s become less and change in meaning,
For me they died...

The "I love you"'s were no longer an ocean of feelings,
They became the holes I fell into never to be heard from again,
Somewhere along the line,
"I love you" turned into an obligation,
"I love you" became a prison I could not escape,
I was stuck in something I couldn't get out of,
But family is blood,
And you can't change that...

Because of this,
I can no longer believe the words "I love you" without fear of it not being true,
To those who wrecked my love,
I can no longer look them in the eyes...

I used to treasure the words "I love you",
Now I hold onto them,
Hoping one day that someone will say "I love you" and really mean it...

Funny how such a simple phrase can cause so much destruction...

Rated Alt for Alternative

 A while ago I started some "editing" on Instagram for fun - I was with some basic app I found in the app store and well they turned out pretty good. Here are a few of them.

The Storm

2nd Attempt on Slam Poetry:

I see the thunder building inside of him,
The coulds in his eyes grow darker as the shadows consume his face,
I know it's coming,

The storm

I try to run for cover but you can't outrun nature,
I stand in horror as I watch the storm unfold,
His hot breath brushes my cheeks,
Spit hits my face like thick rain drops,
His voice thundering as I cower in fear of it's power,
I am trapped in a flood zone unable to escape,
No high ground for safety,
No boat for rescue,
I am alone in this storm,
Each word that he speaks is like a strike of lightning never missing it's mark,
I feel my own storm brewing inside of me
But I don't let go...
I bunked in and took what I thought I deserved,
I know it's not my fault yet I still blame myself,
It's funny how we blame ourselves for what nature does,
It was never my fault,
But he always claimed it was...

TAPPS 5A Person of the Year?!

No one told me until 3 days before graduation, but my friend Shane and I won Texas TAPPS 5A Fine Arts Person of the Year!!! We were even featured in a news article. I didn't even know the arts department nominated me (also I had NEVER even heard of this). It was really great! I have a plaque and everything. So official.

Anyway before this, at our Senior award ceremony (which is two weeks before graduation) I won Excellence in Theater Arts Technical Theater. I MADE MR.SCHULTZ CRY!! NO ONE MAKES SCHULTZ CRY!? Mr. Schultz has been a huge roll model to me and out of all the teachers I'll probably miss him the most. He's done so much for me and he's made my high school years enjoyable. AHHHH but at least I'm headed up to Seward, Nebraska to Concordia University. (Guess who influenced that...) They have a good arts program so that'll be exciting!!

You Are Enough

My relief painting as I like to call it. My art teacher doesn't like it when we do projects like this, but he was gone all week so the sub (who was just the Art I teacher) let me do it and I was so excited. I even asked her to talk to my teacher to get him to hang it on the wall out in the art hallway. I was struggling with a lot at the time and I won't go too much into detail, but everything was literally falling apart and I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I also had a friend end up in the hospital because of me (no I didn't hurt her - she hurt herself. It was getting out of control so I went to our campus pastor and we made things "right"). Basically I was trying to remind myself that I was good enough for myself. I didn't have to worry what others thought. It's just tough especially with graduation coming up and then college. I just have to remember to breath.

If you're struggling - Please realize you aren't alone; You are enough. Remember that.